What is “The Cancer Card”

My family and I have found humour in my cancer journey. Indeed, we actively seek it out and share it whenever possible. While some of this humour may be a little dark at times, it helps us put the cancer in perspective and offer much needed relief during difficult discussions,

“The Cancer Card” is an expression we use to indicate when I am getting special treatment due to my cancer, often when family members feel that I might be milking the situation or that others are going out of their way to cater to me. It can also be applied in situations where family members use my cancer to get special consideration. 

One example: When playing board games, we often argue who gets which colour of board pieces. I will play the “cancer card” to get the colour I want.

Another example. One of my grandchildren had just finished a shift at a fast food restaurant and was heading out the door to meet their father (my son) for a ride to my house. Their boss asked them to stay behind for a post shift meeting. She responded by playing the cancer card: “I’m going to have dinner with grandfather who has cancer and need to leave now to get there in time.”

Although “the cancer card” started as a humorous poke at the special conditions requested or given due my cancer, the phrase has crept into my overall philosophy about my situation. Growing up, when I found myself in situations that I didn’t like, my mother would lovingly (but bluntly) remind me that “no one said life was fair” and that all we could do was “play the cards we were dealt.”

Until my cancer diagnosis, I was blessed with good health. I seldom got sick, rarely had a headache, and healed very quickly. Then, I was dealt “the cancer card.” While this hand contains “the cancer card”, it also holds a caring wife, children with whom I have strong relationships, supportive friends, and a compassionate employer. 

In keeping with my mother’s advice, I am doing my best to play the hand I have been dealt. I am putting “the cancer card” in perspective given the other strong cards in my hand and facing each day with as much optimism and gratitude as I can muster.

Mike