T+132 (Desperately Seeking Normal)

Although I am in hospital (and have been for over 3 weeks), I still go to work Monday to Friday. I am lucky that I can work remotely (and have done so for 5+ years). Essentially, I just moved my desk from home office to hospital room.

Why not take time off while in hospital? I have been asked that question a number of times. Initially, my answer was “Because it keeps me busy during the day.”

As an introvert, I am prone to introspection and questions such “why are you still working” get my thinking. In pondering this question, I realized that what makes work so important to me and why I continue to working is that it is “normal”.

There is little about my situation that is any way normal. Much of what happens to me is entirely out of my control. From 9 to 5, Monday to Friday, I am “Mike @ work”, not “Mike in hospital” or “Mike with cancer”. My contributions at home are significantly reduced and I am still very uncomfortable asking family and friends for help (a topic for separate blog post).

The situation at work is completely the opposite. I continue to make the same contributions and offer the same value that I did before cancer. My cancer imposes few if any limitations and I can easily work around any that present themselves (e.g. attending medical appointments).

“Normal”, in whatever form it might takes, is a precious commodity these days. Whether it is going to work every day, taking a regular shower, or even just doing my Wordle every morning, I revel in these moments that I can engage in an activity that I did BC (before cancer).

Thanks for listening,

Mike