I was out for dinner last night with friends, one of whom is an avid reader of this blog. She told me how much she enjoyed and learned from my blog posts. Her comments got me to thinking about why I haven’t posted in so long.
I have always had a love/hate relationship with writing. When I graduated high school I received both the math award and the English award for highest marks, an unusual combination. Having only recently been bitten by the writing bug (I had just started to feel comfortable writing in grade 10), I decided to pursue an English degree.
While I enjoyed my first year courses, a summer job in CBC’s engineering labs ignited what has become a lifelong interest in technology. A programming course solidified that interest and I changed career paths, pursuing instead an engineering degree.
Although I was a good software engineer and was particularly adept at debugging, it didn’t take long for people to discover that I excelled in an area that many engineers do not … the ability to pitch ideas, to tell a story, and to articulate my thoughts in various written forms.
Throughout my career I have had many opportunities to prepare written documents, from lengthly proposals to articles in trade journals. I often joke that I am a semi-professional writer … I have been published but never paid.
Writing makes me anxious. I worry about what people will think about what I have written. I imagine all sorts of negative reactions. I fear that people will be unmoved or unconvinced by what I have written.
Despite my anxiety, I enjoy the process of using words to tell a story. I love the feeling I get when I come up with a particularly clever turn of phrase. I almost always derive great satisfaction when I put the finishing touches on an article or blog post. I just dread the process.
My friend’s feedback at dinner last night has encouraged me. I still have much I want to say about my cancer journey … indeed, I have written / rewritten a number of blog posts in my head over the past few months. I just need to type them and publish them
Thanks for listening. Special thanks to those of you who have offered positive feedback.
The Cancer Card 